What is Hyperarousal? Signs You’re in Fight or Flight and How to Get Out
Welcome back to our three-part blog series on the Window of Tolerance
In Part 1, I introduced the Window of Tolerance—what it is, why it matters for your emotional well-being, and what happens when you get pushed outside of it into states like hyperarousal or hypoarousal. I also covered what can affect your window and how therapy can help expand it over time. 👉 If you missed it, you can read Part 1 here. In this post, we’re going deeper into hyperarousal—what it actually feels like, how to recognize it in yourself, and most importantly, what to do when you're stuck in that high-alert, revved-up state.
🔥 What Is Hyperarousal?
Hyperarousal is a state of nervous system over-activation—often referred to as “fight or flight.” It’s your body’s way of keeping you safe when it senses threat.
But this state isn’t just caused by trauma. It can also come from:
Ongoing or chronic stress
Current situations that feel unsafe or overwhelming
Life transitions
High responsibility or pressure
Growing up in unpredictable or overstimulating environments
So while hyperarousal can be a reaction to the past, it may also show up when your life is still stressful or unpredictable.
Over time, this revved-up state can become your norm. And when that happens, it can make sleep, focus, emotional safety, and connection much harder to access.
Window of Tolerance
🔎 Signs You Might Be in Hyperarousal
Many people don’t realize they’re living in hyperarousal—because it doesn’t always look dramatic. To help you spot it, here are common signs grouped by how it can show up in your body, mind, emotions, and behavior:
🧍♀️ In Your Body
Tight shoulders or clenched jaw
Racing heart or shallow breathing
Digestive issues or nausea
Tension headaches
Difficulty sleeping
Feeling jumpy or restless
💬 In Your Thoughts
Racing thoughts
Constant overthinking
Catastrophizing or “what if” spirals
Trouble focusing or remembering
Anticipating the worst, even when things are okay
😠 In Your Emotions
Irritability or anger
Emotional outbursts
Feeling overwhelmed easily
Difficulty calming down
Feeling emotionally raw or fragile
📈 In Your Behaviors
Overworking or staying too busy
Avoiding stillness or downtime
Needing control or predictability
Snapping at others
Numbing out with distractions (like scrolling, eating, or overconsuming)
🌿 10 Body-Based Strategies to Soothe Hyperarousal
When you're in hyperarousal, your thinking brain goes offline. These mind-body strategies help your nervous system shift out of “fight or flight” and back into a calmer, more grounded state.
Try one or two that feel accessible. You don’t have to do them all.
✅ Let your body move it through
Walk, stretch, jog, clean, or cook—simple, rhythmic movements help discharge excess energy from your system.
🧊 Use cold temperature
Submerge your face in cold water, covering your temples for 30 sec. at a time (repeat 4 to 6x). Or try a cold pack on your forehead or cheeks, splash cold water on your face, or run cold water over your arms to activate a calming response.
🌬️ Box Breathing
Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4, exhale for 4, and hold again for 4—repeating the cycle slowly to help chalm your nervous system and bring your focus back to the present. This technique is used by Navy Seals, First Responders, and althletes to stay calm and focused under pressure. Want to try it?: Follow this short guided box breathing video
😮💨 Sigh it out
Take a deep breath in through your nose and exhale with an audible sigh. Let your shoulders drop. Imagine releasing tension with the sound.
🦋 Try butterfly tapping
Wrap your arms around yourself and gently tap your upper arms or thighs, side to side. Focus on the rhythm and your breath. Curious? Try out this quick video.
💭 Recall calm and connection
Think of a moment where you felt safe or loved—even briefly. Let yourself feel that memory in your body. Or reach out to someone your turst who makes you feel seen, heard and not judged. Even a short call or text calms your nervous system and reminds you are not alone. This helps re-anchor you in safe connection.
🛏️ Wrap yourself up
Use a weighted blanket or shawl to wrap around your shoulders or body. The sensation of containment can help regulate the nervous system.
🧠 Name the moment
Say to yourself:
“I’m just triggered.”
“This is a wave—I can let it pass without getting pulled in.”
📺 Give yourself permission to pause
It’s okay to step away and rest. Mindfully check out with a show, music, or quiet time. Make a plan to return to what’s hard when you feel more resourced.
💗 Practice self-compassion
When you're overwhelmed, pause and meet yourself with kindness. Notice what you're feeling, allow it without judgment, and respond with warmth—just as you would with a friend. The simple act of softening toward your experience helps settle your nervous system and build inner safety.Want to try it? Click here for a gentle self-compassion exercise by Dr. Kristin Neff.
💡 You’re Not “Too Much”—You’re Wired to Protect
If you often feel stuck in high alert, know this: you’re not overreacting and you’re not broken. You’ve learned to survive by staying ready. And your nervous system is doing its job. These practices aren’t about “fixing” you. They’re about helping your body feel safer—so you can come back to yourself with more ease, calm, and clarity.
And the more you practice regulating your nervous system, the more your Window of Tolerance expands. When your window widens, it unlocks your capacity to:
Heal from trauma
Handle stress more easily
Build meaningful relationships
Feel emotionally balanced
Pursue goals with confidence
This is the foundation of emotional well-being. And I can help you strengthen it.
🌿 If you’re ready to start that process, reach out today.
What’s Next?
This post is Part 2 of 3 in our Window of Tolerance blog series. In the final post, we’ll explore hypoarousal—a state of numbness, disconnection, or emotional shutdown—and how to gently bring yourself back when everything feels too much.
References
Kerr, Laura K. Living Within Your Window of Tolerance: The Different Zones of Arousal. 2015. https://www.frasac.org.uk/resources/Window-of-Tolerance- Guide-.pdf.
Visual Resources and Tools
If you're a visual learner, here are some helpful diagrams and resources you can explore:
The Window of Tolerance graphic by NICABM – This clear and simple overview illustrates how trauma impacts your window of tolerance.
Window of Tolerance Awareness Sheet - https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5cb61b1e29f2cc34d16e2bd6/t/6022eb25fe4dd05c4259b556/1612901175810/window-of-tolerance-awareness-worksheet.pdf
Stuck Not Broken by Justin Sunseri – This podcast offers visuals, explanations, and discussions about polyvagal theory in plain language.