Three P’s in a Pod Keeping You Stuck: Perfectionism, Procrastination, and Paralysis

Three P’s in a Pod Keeping You Stuck: Perfectionism, Procrastination, and Paralysis

Another task has been assigned to you. Just thinking about it makes your heart beat faster and your palms feel a little sweatier.

Here we go again, you think to yourself. After all, it always goes the same way, and you wish it didn’t.

You don’t believe in doing things ‘half-assed’. If your work isn’t great or perfect, it’s not finished.

While it’s important to have high standards, perfectionism is much more than that.

Perfectionism may lead to the next stage of this vicious cycle: procrastination.

Getting started on tasks, especially those that feel daunting, may cause you to put them off.

When procrastination begins to affect your day-to-day life, it can become a serious problem. Things may pile up until the thought of getting started causes overwhelming anxiety, feelings of failure or other painful emotions. This is when procrastination turns into task paralysis.

In this September blog, we’ll discuss the relationship between perfectionism, procrastination and paralysis, and provide strategies for escaping the reinforcing loop.

Read along to start your journey of growth and healing today! It’s never too late to start.

‘Good’ Doesn’t Mean Perfect

Perfectionism may be the most dangerous of the three P’s. It may be the start of this reinforcing loop, and it is the only phase of the cycle that has a positive connotation in the workforce—at least to some.

Often in the professional world, being a perfectionist means completing tasks to the highest standards, at all times. It’s one of those things people claim as a ‘weakness’ in job interviews, when they’re really just trying to tell prospective employers that they produce great results.

No one is perfect, so expecting yourself or your work to be is setting an impossible standard.

Here are some of the signs that indicate that perfectionism is taking a toll on your life:

Being Highly Critical Of Yourself

Perfectionistic people may hyperfocus on the faults or mistakes of their tasks or projects. Even if something is generally great, you may still focus on how it could be better or how to correct the smallest of errors. You may have successfully pitched to 99% of your prospective clients that day, but when you get home, you’re likely to only think about that 1% you missed.

‘All-or-Nothing’ Attitude

You may abandon a task if it cannot meet your impossible standards, even when the result meets most of your goal. Something may feel like a complete success or a complete failure. Sometimes, there’s no in-between. If you slack for an hour, the day is a failure. This way of thinking makes giving up so much easier, and it makes failing more impactful than it should be. Without failure, we cannot learn or grow. When you treat failure as an absolute, you’re only making it harder on yourself. It becomes difficult to identify areas for improvement, try something new and persist.

Fear Of Failure

Being ‘perfect’ all the time can be exhausting. Failing may have a lasting impression that you don’t want to feel again, and what better way to avoid failure (and accompanying self-disappointment or anger) than to avoid starting? You can’t fail at something you’ve never tried.

The unrealistic expectations may also lead to low self-esteem and depression. When you try to be perfect all the time, it’s hard not to feel demoralized. That’s why you may push things off instead.

Putting It Off Doesn’t Make it Go Away

When tasks feel overwhelming or downright impossible, getting started can feel scary. You may think: where do I begin, or how long will this take or it’s too much work?

It’s easier to dismiss things:

• I’ll do it later
• I have all day for this
• I’m not in the mood right now

Perfectionism isn’t the only reason people procrastinate. Distractions in our environment can make it easier to delay tasks. Many technologies have been developed to grab and hold our attention.

When choosing between entertainment or getting started on a challenging, time-sensitive or tedious task, the more comfortable option such as social media scrolling, lower-priority tasks like cleaning or answering emails may feel easier in the moment.

In the cycle we’ve been discussing, procrastination can provide immediate relief from the negative emotions of perfectionism and the overwhelming thoughts of starting something new or simple, but overwhelmingly difficult. It puts your mind at ease temporarily, but the long-term consequences may far outweigh the benefits.

The more you procrastinate, the harder it is to stop, which may lead to other mental health concerns, including anxiety and depression. When things become too overwhelming, procrastination can lead to the third phase of the cycle: paralysis.

Doing Anything Can Feel Impossible

When perfectionistic tendencies are paired with chronic procrastination, you may enter a state of paralysis.

As your tasks and responsibilities grow in number, deciding where and how to begin may become more difficult. This may lead you to struggle to get anything done, no matter how big, small, easy or challenging. 

The longer you stay paralyzed, the more pressure you may feel to create a perfect final product. The more pressure you feel to be perfect, the more likely you are to procrastinate, and so the cycle continues and reinforces itself.

Get Moving Again, Without Being Perfect

Breaking this cycle can feel like quite the challenge on its own. The good news: there’s no way to do it perfectly. Different methods work for different people. It may take a combination of several strategies, and that’s expected. Here are some techniques for breaking the cycle of the 3 Ps:

Be Mindful Of Your Inner Critic 

When thoughts about being perfect enter your mind, try to identify them and ask yourself:

• How is the inner critic trying to actually help you? Maybe it’s trying to motivate you through fear or shame.
• Would I ever critique someone to the same extent, and how would I feel if someone talked to me like that?

Recognizing problematic thought patterns may help you realize that you are trying to satisfy a voice that is trying to help in a non-effective way. When you attack yourself you actually become become more depressed, more anxious and unmotivated, and this doesn’t lend itself to approaching tasks.

Or your thoughts might reveal how punishing you are with yourself. Yet you don’t expect others to be perfect, so why is it fair to expect it of yourself and be so harsh? 

When demoralizing thoughts persist, consciously tell yourself that it’s not helping or working. Also, reflect on your successes and what you’ve done well. Encourage the inner critic to help motivate you in a way that actually works for you. It may provide reassurance, encouragement and/or coaching.

Don’t beat yourself up about things that you have done wrong or poorly. 

Consider the saying, ‘No mud, no lotus‘—growth often comes from struggle.

Say ‘No’ When It Feels Right

You can’t do everything, even if it seems like the world needs that from you. 

You’re only human.

Consider your priorities, and if someone is asking something of you that doesn’t align with your abilities or schedule, tell them you can’t do it. 

Save yourself some pain and say ‘no’ once in a while. It may grant you the time to complete things that are important to you as time, energy, and psychological resources are limited.

Make It Small

Mountains aren’t scaled in one big step. 

Large goals should be broken down into smaller parts to make the task more manageable, realistic and less overwhelming. 

If a small step still seems too big, make it even smaller:

• work in 10 or 15 min intervals,
• Just open your laptop
• give yourself permission to start work on a task messily without fixing it right away

Anything is better than nothing, and getting started can often be the hardest part.

Lower Your Expectations

Remind yourself consistently that things can be successful without being perfect. 

You may strive to go above and beyond, but it’s okay if you don’t. There is value in working at 65 or 85% of your capabilities.

If you happen to smash expectations, then great job, but don’t consider that the new standard. 

Find A Mentor: Positive People Make Things Easier

Stand up to that harsh, inner critic by surrounding yourself with people who are optimistic and compassionate. If you’re only subjected to negative views and emotions, it may become hard to believe you’re capable or worthy of accomplishing your goals.

If you’re surrounded by successful people, chances are they understand setbacks and failure to be a part of growth and learning. Try to emulate their attitude, thought processes and productivity strategies.

Reward More, Punish Less

Reward your small victories. 

Some may find it juvenile to celebrate little wins, but if you’re someone who usually punishes yourself for being less than perfect, it’s nice to remind yourself of the good you’ve done.

Treat yourself to a snack after a small task has been completed. Watch a movie after a long day of work. Celebrate the win by talking about it with someone you trust.

The little things can make a big difference.

One Step At A Time

Breaking the cycle of perfectionism, procrastination and paralysis doesn’t mean changing everything at once. 

Some days, getting started may feel harder than others, and that’s okay. Each time you set realistic expectations, take one manageable step or respond to yourself with compassion, you make it a little easier to move from paralysis toward progress. 

If the three P’s continue to affect your daily life, you don’t have to work through the pattern alone. 

At the Centre for Mind Body Psychotherapy, we take a holistic approach to understanding the factors that may be keeping you stuck in this cycle. With time and support, small steps can lead to meaningful change.

You don’t have to figure it out alone. We’re here to help if you need us.